It's Beautiful, Ron!

     One of my husband Ron's favorite holiday movies is  National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.  We have watched it at least once every year since it came out in December 1989.  That year we saw it in the theatre on Christmas Eve.  We were the only couple there.  It still cracks us up!  It doesn't end with the season though. Ron finds one-liners from the production useful throughout the year.

      Why just the other day I mentioned to him we really needed to clean the house.   First he replied, "Oh, woo!  Look at the time.  I gotta get to bed.  I still gotta brush my teeth, feed the hog, still got some homework to do, still got those bills to pay, wash the car..."  Then for good measure he threw in,  "I'll be upstairs sleeping if you need me."

      Ron stays very informed about current events by surfing the Internet and reading several online newspapers daily.  Once I walked by and noticed he was entrenched in an article which contained a large photo of a very attractive, scantily dressed young woman.  He looked up at me as I passed by and sheepishly explained, "I was just blousing...I mean browsing."  He grinned, "Can't see the line, can you Phyllis?"

      In addition to checking out the online periodicals, we subscribe to the local newspaper.  Ron trudges down the driveway with our dogs, Molly and Annie, to take care of business and get the paper almost every day. If it is a cold winter morning, he rarely misses the opportunity to announce when he comes back into the house, "It certainly is a bit nipply out."  

     A few months ago, I was in the kitchen spouting off about the inconsistency of how our oven works.  Exasperated, I asked, "Why do some things get done quicker than others at the same recommended temperature?"  

     Ron shrugged, "I don't know, Margo."

     I could go on and on but I'll stop here.  I do know Ron loves Christmas and this movie.  He takes great pride in beautifully decorating the outside of the house but he Is quick to credit to the appropriate person.  "Dad taught me everything I know about exterior illumination."

 

 

 

 

     May you have a very Merry Christmas and enjoy the warm embrace of kith and kin!

    

The Stranger Within Us

       Have you ever been totally surprised by an action or reaction of someone you thought you knew well?  The junior psychologist in me thinks this is because there is a stranger within all of us.  This stranger seems to hide the deep-seated fantasies, hopes and  dreams, as well as the fears and insecurities that have accumulated just through living experiences.  Normally, this stranger stays quiet as we go about enjoying and conducting our daily lives, relationships, etc.   On occasion, without warning, this stranger flares up in unexpected ways and causes havoc. 

       The recent FSU Jameis Winston debacle may be an example.  From the beginning of the 2013 football season, he was admired and touted as an amazing leader with a great personality and high family values.  No one will ever know exactly what happened on the night of December 7, 2012, and most of us want to believe no malice was intended.  It seems to me, from all outward appearances, the stranger within everyone involved took over, and ultimately caused confusion and pain.

        Here's another less volatile example.  Have you ever confronted your spouse with something they said or did that has gnawed at you for hours, or maybe even days, only to have them respond with "huh?" They give you the "deer in headlights" stare.  In other words, they have no idea what you are talking about. So, you have to replay the whole incident to them, which probably pisses you off even more.  (Okay, guys, wipe the grin off your face. I'm not just talking women here.)  After "discussion," more times than not, the whole thing turns out to be a totally innocent comment or act.  So why did it upset you in the first place?  My theory is that it hit one of those little insecurities hidden in the stranger within you.

       The more I think about it, I wonder if the stranger within us may be the unintentional culprit to cause occasional spats with friends and family.  Maybe, maybe not, but at the very least, it might be a good thing to be aware of this holiday season. 

       Have a happy holiday!

What Makes You Smile?



First Strawberries



        As I headed out for my morning walk, I stopped to take a peek at our Fall garden to see how the seedlings were doing after yesterday's rain.  Maybe I am imagining it, but they sure seemed to be happy, basking in the sun under the robin egg blue sky. A little light breeze made them look like they were actually dancing.  It made me smile.


Carrot & Romaine Seedlings





Broccoli bordered by remaining summer Periwinkles 



Kale Seedlings - two cultivars


        Planting the seeds and plants in early October for our garden was a family project which included the three grandchildren.  The rows may not be perfect but they were planted with excitement and we are all looking forward to sharing in the future harvests.  We all got a few smiles and giggles out of the process. 

       Watching our garden grow is just one of the daily pleasures that make me smile.  Here are a few others:  

• Waking up next to my husband, Ron, each morning
• Learning something new
• Planning a vacation to some place I've never been
• My grandchildren laughing
• A call from one of our sons, just to ask how my day is going
• Duck Dynasty
• The horrified look on Ron's face when I announce the Hallmark Channel will be running Christmas movies 24/7 for the next month
• Our dogs, Molly and Annie, welcoming us home with such excitement even if we were gone for just a few minutes
• Customer service representatives who are really helpful
• Gators winning a football game (it has been a while)
• Doing something that actually helps someone
• Walks on a cool, brisk morning
• Hearing our children are enjoying their pursuits
• Yoga class

     How about you, what makes you smile?














Transformations

     We all go through transformations from
time to time. For example, our family, young
and old, morphs from nice, loving, and gentle
human beings to ghouls, witches, zombies and
sillies at Halloween. I think it may be a genetic
thing. We have a blast!          

     Unfortunately, all transitions are not as fun as our Halloween capers.  I've been doing some research about war time veterans for a novel I'm working on. Delving into this information has been an eye-opener for me. It seems surviving combat and the war zone is not the end of the experience for many veterans.  When they get home, the adjustments can be a literal nightmare for them and their families due to post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

     In the past, I've picked up tidbits of information about PTSD through the media but my awareness has been magnified. According to medical experts, it is not unusual for people who have been traumatized to have stress-related reactions like fear, sadness, guilt, anger, and problems sleeping after the event. These issues should fade gradually but when they do not go away or re-appear months or years later, and disrupt a person's ability to lead a normal life, they become a problem.

     If he or she keeps reliving the traumatic event through nightmares or flashbacks, PTSD can often be the culprit.  They may frequently feel jittery due to a sense of imminent danger which can lead to angry outbursts, or avoidance of situations or people that remind them of unpleasant episodes. A person suffering from PTSD may find it hard to express thoughts and feelings even to the people closest to them. The sad part is many veterans begin to think they are going nuts and lose the drive to go on.  According to a recent USA Today article, 22 veterans commit suicide daily.

     The good news is several treatments are available to those suffering from PTSD to help them restore their lives.  But they must take the first step, admit they have a problem, and talk to their doctor or go to the nearest mental health center, or Veteran's Administration facility.

     My research about veterans and PTSD only touched the surface and leads to many questions.  I wonder---have war time veterans always suffered from PTSD or is it a malady that surfaced after the Viet Nam, Iraq and Afghanistan confrontations?  If so, why? 

     I invite you to send your comments and share your experiences.

Mommy, I'm Hungry

        

Can you remember the last time you went to bed hungry? I can't. Usually, my problem is just the opposite. Unfortunately, way too many children do not know what it is like to go to bed with a full tummy. This bugs me. An opportunity to help came my way about six years ago. Actually, to be perfectly honest, what happened was that a church leader asked me to be the Trinity United Methodist Church liaison for the Tallahassee CROP Hunger Walk sponsored by Church World Services. I could not think of a good reason to say no. I am glad I didn’t.

 The first four years I simply walked, solicited monetary and food donations from sponsors, and served as the recruiter for Trinity, which meant I encouraged members of the congregation to join me. In 2012 and this year, I kicked it up a notch. I act as the citywide coordinator for the Tallahassee CROP Hunger Walk initiative, which means I expanded my focus to recruit local churches and organizations to involve their membership.

Even more important, I still participate in the 3-mile walk and collect donations from family and friends. The three miles are symbolic and represent the distance some children in undeveloped countries have to walk just to get water.

Like many people, I find it hard to ask friends and family for donations. Nevertheless, I get out of my comfort zone and do it anyway because there are still kids out there without ample food and water. It takes a village, one person at a time, to make a difference, right?

        This year the walk in Tallahassee is on October 20th.   It is different dates and times in communities across the country.  If the fact that children go to bed hungry every night of the year bothers you and are looking for a way to help you might be able to participate in your area.  Go to www.cropwalk.org and find the nearest walk.  If there is not one, you can donate to other walks/walkers online.  In our area, seventy-five percent of the  contributions we collect locally go to state, national, and international emergencies, such as Hurricane Sandy, as well as long-term food and clean water development in 80 developing nations around the world.  The other twenty-five percent of the money and all of the food goes to local non-profit organizations who help those in need.  Each area may be different.  You'll just have to check it out.

Happy Walking!