The Stranger Within Us

       Have you ever been totally surprised by an action or reaction of someone you thought you knew well?  The junior psychologist in me thinks this is because there is a stranger within all of us.  This stranger seems to hide the deep-seated fantasies, hopes and  dreams, as well as the fears and insecurities that have accumulated just through living experiences.  Normally, this stranger stays quiet as we go about enjoying and conducting our daily lives, relationships, etc.   On occasion, without warning, this stranger flares up in unexpected ways and causes havoc. 

       The recent FSU Jameis Winston debacle may be an example.  From the beginning of the 2013 football season, he was admired and touted as an amazing leader with a great personality and high family values.  No one will ever know exactly what happened on the night of December 7, 2012, and most of us want to believe no malice was intended.  It seems to me, from all outward appearances, the stranger within everyone involved took over, and ultimately caused confusion and pain.

        Here's another less volatile example.  Have you ever confronted your spouse with something they said or did that has gnawed at you for hours, or maybe even days, only to have them respond with "huh?" They give you the "deer in headlights" stare.  In other words, they have no idea what you are talking about. So, you have to replay the whole incident to them, which probably pisses you off even more.  (Okay, guys, wipe the grin off your face. I'm not just talking women here.)  After "discussion," more times than not, the whole thing turns out to be a totally innocent comment or act.  So why did it upset you in the first place?  My theory is that it hit one of those little insecurities hidden in the stranger within you.

       The more I think about it, I wonder if the stranger within us may be the unintentional culprit to cause occasional spats with friends and family.  Maybe, maybe not, but at the very least, it might be a good thing to be aware of this holiday season. 

       Have a happy holiday!