It's Beautiful, Ron!

     One of my husband Ron's favorite holiday movies is  National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.  We have watched it at least once every year since it came out in December 1989.  That year we saw it in the theatre on Christmas Eve.  We were the only couple there.  It still cracks us up!  It doesn't end with the season though. Ron finds one-liners from the production useful throughout the year.

      Why just the other day I mentioned to him we really needed to clean the house.   First he replied, "Oh, woo!  Look at the time.  I gotta get to bed.  I still gotta brush my teeth, feed the hog, still got some homework to do, still got those bills to pay, wash the car..."  Then for good measure he threw in,  "I'll be upstairs sleeping if you need me."

      Ron stays very informed about current events by surfing the Internet and reading several online newspapers daily.  Once I walked by and noticed he was entrenched in an article which contained a large photo of a very attractive, scantily dressed young woman.  He looked up at me as I passed by and sheepishly explained, "I was just blousing...I mean browsing."  He grinned, "Can't see the line, can you Phyllis?"

      In addition to checking out the online periodicals, we subscribe to the local newspaper.  Ron trudges down the driveway with our dogs, Molly and Annie, to take care of business and get the paper almost every day. If it is a cold winter morning, he rarely misses the opportunity to announce when he comes back into the house, "It certainly is a bit nipply out."  

     A few months ago, I was in the kitchen spouting off about the inconsistency of how our oven works.  Exasperated, I asked, "Why do some things get done quicker than others at the same recommended temperature?"  

     Ron shrugged, "I don't know, Margo."

     I could go on and on but I'll stop here.  I do know Ron loves Christmas and this movie.  He takes great pride in beautifully decorating the outside of the house but he Is quick to credit to the appropriate person.  "Dad taught me everything I know about exterior illumination."

 

 

 

 

     May you have a very Merry Christmas and enjoy the warm embrace of kith and kin!

    

The Stranger Within Us

       Have you ever been totally surprised by an action or reaction of someone you thought you knew well?  The junior psychologist in me thinks this is because there is a stranger within all of us.  This stranger seems to hide the deep-seated fantasies, hopes and  dreams, as well as the fears and insecurities that have accumulated just through living experiences.  Normally, this stranger stays quiet as we go about enjoying and conducting our daily lives, relationships, etc.   On occasion, without warning, this stranger flares up in unexpected ways and causes havoc. 

       The recent FSU Jameis Winston debacle may be an example.  From the beginning of the 2013 football season, he was admired and touted as an amazing leader with a great personality and high family values.  No one will ever know exactly what happened on the night of December 7, 2012, and most of us want to believe no malice was intended.  It seems to me, from all outward appearances, the stranger within everyone involved took over, and ultimately caused confusion and pain.

        Here's another less volatile example.  Have you ever confronted your spouse with something they said or did that has gnawed at you for hours, or maybe even days, only to have them respond with "huh?" They give you the "deer in headlights" stare.  In other words, they have no idea what you are talking about. So, you have to replay the whole incident to them, which probably pisses you off even more.  (Okay, guys, wipe the grin off your face. I'm not just talking women here.)  After "discussion," more times than not, the whole thing turns out to be a totally innocent comment or act.  So why did it upset you in the first place?  My theory is that it hit one of those little insecurities hidden in the stranger within you.

       The more I think about it, I wonder if the stranger within us may be the unintentional culprit to cause occasional spats with friends and family.  Maybe, maybe not, but at the very least, it might be a good thing to be aware of this holiday season. 

       Have a happy holiday!

What Makes You Smile?



First Strawberries



        As I headed out for my morning walk, I stopped to take a peek at our Fall garden to see how the seedlings were doing after yesterday's rain.  Maybe I am imagining it, but they sure seemed to be happy, basking in the sun under the robin egg blue sky. A little light breeze made them look like they were actually dancing.  It made me smile.


Carrot & Romaine Seedlings





Broccoli bordered by remaining summer Periwinkles 



Kale Seedlings - two cultivars


        Planting the seeds and plants in early October for our garden was a family project which included the three grandchildren.  The rows may not be perfect but they were planted with excitement and we are all looking forward to sharing in the future harvests.  We all got a few smiles and giggles out of the process. 

       Watching our garden grow is just one of the daily pleasures that make me smile.  Here are a few others:  

• Waking up next to my husband, Ron, each morning
• Learning something new
• Planning a vacation to some place I've never been
• My grandchildren laughing
• A call from one of our sons, just to ask how my day is going
• Duck Dynasty
• The horrified look on Ron's face when I announce the Hallmark Channel will be running Christmas movies 24/7 for the next month
• Our dogs, Molly and Annie, welcoming us home with such excitement even if we were gone for just a few minutes
• Customer service representatives who are really helpful
• Gators winning a football game (it has been a while)
• Doing something that actually helps someone
• Walks on a cool, brisk morning
• Hearing our children are enjoying their pursuits
• Yoga class

     How about you, what makes you smile?














Transformations

     We all go through transformations from
time to time. For example, our family, young
and old, morphs from nice, loving, and gentle
human beings to ghouls, witches, zombies and
sillies at Halloween. I think it may be a genetic
thing. We have a blast!          

     Unfortunately, all transitions are not as fun as our Halloween capers.  I've been doing some research about war time veterans for a novel I'm working on. Delving into this information has been an eye-opener for me. It seems surviving combat and the war zone is not the end of the experience for many veterans.  When they get home, the adjustments can be a literal nightmare for them and their families due to post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

     In the past, I've picked up tidbits of information about PTSD through the media but my awareness has been magnified. According to medical experts, it is not unusual for people who have been traumatized to have stress-related reactions like fear, sadness, guilt, anger, and problems sleeping after the event. These issues should fade gradually but when they do not go away or re-appear months or years later, and disrupt a person's ability to lead a normal life, they become a problem.

     If he or she keeps reliving the traumatic event through nightmares or flashbacks, PTSD can often be the culprit.  They may frequently feel jittery due to a sense of imminent danger which can lead to angry outbursts, or avoidance of situations or people that remind them of unpleasant episodes. A person suffering from PTSD may find it hard to express thoughts and feelings even to the people closest to them. The sad part is many veterans begin to think they are going nuts and lose the drive to go on.  According to a recent USA Today article, 22 veterans commit suicide daily.

     The good news is several treatments are available to those suffering from PTSD to help them restore their lives.  But they must take the first step, admit they have a problem, and talk to their doctor or go to the nearest mental health center, or Veteran's Administration facility.

     My research about veterans and PTSD only touched the surface and leads to many questions.  I wonder---have war time veterans always suffered from PTSD or is it a malady that surfaced after the Viet Nam, Iraq and Afghanistan confrontations?  If so, why? 

     I invite you to send your comments and share your experiences.

Mommy, I'm Hungry

        

Can you remember the last time you went to bed hungry? I can't. Usually, my problem is just the opposite. Unfortunately, way too many children do not know what it is like to go to bed with a full tummy. This bugs me. An opportunity to help came my way about six years ago. Actually, to be perfectly honest, what happened was that a church leader asked me to be the Trinity United Methodist Church liaison for the Tallahassee CROP Hunger Walk sponsored by Church World Services. I could not think of a good reason to say no. I am glad I didn’t.

 The first four years I simply walked, solicited monetary and food donations from sponsors, and served as the recruiter for Trinity, which meant I encouraged members of the congregation to join me. In 2012 and this year, I kicked it up a notch. I act as the citywide coordinator for the Tallahassee CROP Hunger Walk initiative, which means I expanded my focus to recruit local churches and organizations to involve their membership.

Even more important, I still participate in the 3-mile walk and collect donations from family and friends. The three miles are symbolic and represent the distance some children in undeveloped countries have to walk just to get water.

Like many people, I find it hard to ask friends and family for donations. Nevertheless, I get out of my comfort zone and do it anyway because there are still kids out there without ample food and water. It takes a village, one person at a time, to make a difference, right?

        This year the walk in Tallahassee is on October 20th.   It is different dates and times in communities across the country.  If the fact that children go to bed hungry every night of the year bothers you and are looking for a way to help you might be able to participate in your area.  Go to www.cropwalk.org and find the nearest walk.  If there is not one, you can donate to other walks/walkers online.  In our area, seventy-five percent of the  contributions we collect locally go to state, national, and international emergencies, such as Hurricane Sandy, as well as long-term food and clean water development in 80 developing nations around the world.  The other twenty-five percent of the money and all of the food goes to local non-profit organizations who help those in need.  Each area may be different.  You'll just have to check it out.

Happy Walking!

Traveling with Annie and Molly

      When my husband, Ron, retired at the end of last year, we were excited to begin fulfilling our desire to travel to see more of the U.S. and, maybe even some of the rest of the world.  We knew it wasn't going to be as simple as just deciding our destinations.   There was Annie and Molly to consider.  Not our kids or grand kids but our dogs which, I guess, in many ways are like our kids.  We just couldn't ignore the responsibilities we signed up for when we rescued them several years ago.  We have a great pet sitter who takes good care of them when we take short trips.  However, taking longer trips was on the retirement agenda. Leaving them at home could get very costly and, of course, we would miss them. Besides, we knew they would just stare out the window each day until we got home.

   Molly is a medium-size hound-mix.  Annie is a small three-legged Beagle.

 

     Actually, Annie and Molly are great travelers--- never get car sick, have accidents, or whine.  They just sit or lay in the backseat, happy to be going somewhere with us. They are both leash and kennel trained. Maybe one of the smartest things we did when they were puppies was to train them to sleep in their kennels at night.  We fluff up their bedding, give them a little treat, and cover the kennels with a light tablecloth, similar to what you do with a bird cage.  They actually find being in them comforting, even if it is thundering and lightening.  It's like their safe haven.  They have separate kennels but sometimes they huddle up together in Molly's larger accommodations during the day.

 

 

     Back to the travel plan---we began exploring ways to take them with us as much as possible. First, we thought about buying a camper but we didn't want a big cumbersome RV so we looked into buying a travel van, i.e. Road Trek, Chinook, etc.  A month after Ron retired we went to a RV Show in Tampa to check out the latest models.  There were some great models to choose from. We were impressed but the price tags that didn't fit within our limited retiree budget.  We did learn during this seek-and-find trip most people only keep their RVs and campers a couple of years.  When we got home, we checked out prices on used models in the classifieds, on Craig's List, etc.  There were some good deals.  Then we got to thinking.  How in the world would we go sight-seeing whenever we wanted to without towing an extra vehicle or breaking camp every day?  After talking to other travelers with pets, we learned you don't.  You stay put. We didn't like those options.  Our goal was to travel light and be very mobile.

 

     On a couple of occasions in the past, we had taken short vacations and stayed in "pet-friendly" cabins---once in Hot Springs, NC and twice in a beachfront house at Carrabelle Beach, FL.  It had worked out great for us and Annie and Molly! 

 

Walla!  We had a new travel plan.  Our travel across country would include staying in pet friendly places for a few days along the way in areas we wanted to visit.  It is amazing how many great places we found on the Internet by just typing "pet-friendly vacation rentals" and the area we wanted to go.   We just got home from a 10  day trip to test our plan.  We spent a few days in Waldo, AL, a small community south of Talladega in a 3-bedroom house surrounded by a creek, national forest and lots of nearby attractions.  Then we moved on to Cave City, KY to check out Mammoth Cave National Park.  We stayed in a rock cabin with all the amenities that dated back to 1928.  After touring the caves and local area, we worked our way back to Florida, with a stop in Cave Springs, GA in a large, immaculate, waterfront mobile home on Cedar Creek.  This community's claim to fame is their water.  The spring provides pure water which supplies the town.  We collected a couple of bottles and brought it home. 

 

     Annie and Molly seemed happy to be taking a vacation which allowed them to "sniff" some new environments.  They frolicked in creeks, sought out critters in the woods, played with their usual toys, and chilled out with us in the evenings as we watched the sunsets. When we went sight-seeing, out to dinner, or to a performance, we just put them in their kennels.  They were content and so were we because we got to see what we wanted to and did not have to worry about them.

 

     Overall, this has been a very economical adventure.  We cooked at "home" a lot, did not have to pay a pet sitter, or make a payment on a travel van.  The owners of these vacation rentals were some of the nicest people you ever want to meet.  So far, they have  also been pet owners.  Some require pet deposits, some don't.   We left each place as clean as we found it by following house rules.  Since Annie and Molly are not allowed to get on furniture at home, keeping them on the floor was easy.  To make sure we did not leave any hair behind, we just swept or vacuumed before we left.  

 

     Where should we go next with Annie and Molly?  Can't wait to start planning the trip!

 

 



It Just Wouldn't Go Away

Does the fact that many young people fall into the debt trap early and spend the rest of their lives trying to climb out of it bother you?  Well it bothers me.  I started thinking a lot about this dilemma a few years ago.  On occasion, I would put my concerns aside for a while but they would just seep back into my consciousness and demand my attention.  It just wouldn't go away.

Most of us learned about finances the hard way.  In addition to credit card debt, many people are paying off personal and college loans well into their forties, fifties and beyond.  A report by the Federal Reserve issued in December 2012 indicated the households with debt carried average credit card balances of $15,418, mortgages of $149,752, and student loans of $34,703.  

I began to focus on what I think is a way to turn this trend around.  You just have to educate people about personal finances in high school before they have a chance to catch a ride on the debt merry-go-round.  Many parents might cringe at the thought of troubling their children with the reality of finances so early in life.  I know I felt this way when my children were growing up.  But now, I think I was wrong.  I should have had them right in the middle of setting up household budgets. 

Well, none of us can go back in time but we can move forward.  So, I started working on a budgeting  eBook for high school students.  I didn't want a book with long financial planning essays. Instead, I set my sights on providing common sense, doable methods for them to use to meet their needs now, and in the near future, without becoming saddled with debt.  It took a while but I finally published it this month.  Living Debt-Free:  A Budgeting Guide for High Schoolers is now available online at:  https://www.amazon.com/dp/1099898900.

This has been a passion for me.  I sincerely hope it will help some young folks and they will find it exciting to realize just how empowering it is to be able to control their future.